Holiday time is notorious for emotional triggers. Visiting family and friends brings up old memories and allows you to see how far we’ve healed over the year. Ideally, no matter what is said, you want to remain unbothered. However, if you become bothered and triggered, it’s a sign more healing is necessary.

There’s a lot of life in the subconscious. The looping mind is the commentary of unresolved issues, and the mind repeats until problems are resolved. Getting reactive and hurt during conversations are behaviors and habits you acquired in childhood and are not resolved.

Anger is the number one trigger reaction, and you feel it in your second and third chakra or your gut. Most emotional triggers hone right into an open wound, and you jump up and get angry. When you feel triggered, remember to ask yourself, “what’s the issue?” Notice what or who you are trying to defend. You often want to defend your inner child and, of course, the ego. Only the ego gets hurt. The true Self or Soul can’t get hurt.

Subconscious Mind

There’s a lot of life in the subconscious. The looping mind is a commentary on unresolved issues and plays them repeatedly until they are resolved. Emotional memory and trauma, like getting reactive and hurt during conversations, are behaviors and habits you acquired in childhood.

Patterns are grooved neuro-pathways in the mind of information you think about a lot. Not just once or twice. It’s not a straight line from one set of beliefs and patterning to the next. Emotional memory is layered into the subconscious by experiences and not by the people involved.

How to Change Patterns

People always ask me, “How can I get to my subconscious blocks and habits?” The answer is to listen to what you say when you want something.

For example, I was working with a client, and she said, “I can never get well” that’s a subconscious block. You are so accustomed to your narrative you don’t notice how you block yourself until it’s obvious, someone points it out, or you see the block in someone else. Anything not working for you is a limiting belief.

A friend recently asked, “Why am I so sick?” As she sat down to eat a stack of pancakes with syrup. You don’t notice the things blocking you or making you ill. Buddha said, “Everyone needs a trusted friend to point the blocks and habits out.”

A belief is not necessarily true even though you believe in it. Beliefs create patterns and are created by what you repeatedly hear or see in life. The mind groves into habits, and you keep falling into the old grooves until you consciously change them.

If your parents said, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” You’ll grow up believing it’s challenging to make money. Beliefs are learned. So you can unlearn them and change your mind. You always have the power to change your mind. Core beliefs are more challenging to get to because they are buried under lots of life experiences. What beliefs do you own? You can hear your beliefs by listening to what you say when you want something.

Stuffing Emotions

Listen to why it’s important to talk out issues as they happen vs. holding onto anger or hurt until another time.

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