I was talking to someone about co-dependency, and she asked me to share this. I found this graphic on a psych feed. It liking-yourselfcan also be applied to spirituality and the awakening path.

The message here is about co-dependency and people-pleasing vs. loving yourself and taking the focus off others and trying to make them happy instead of enjoying yourself. It’s backward!!!

First, because you can’t give something to someone they don’t already have. Right?? You’ve heard me speak about this many times. An empty can can’t feel an empty can. When you don’t love yourself, it creates heartache for you, and you’ll feel lonely and abandoned–this is pain and suffering.

It’s brilliant, isn’t it–take the focus off of other people and place the attention on yourself. Just a note about “self-attention” it’s not self-centered or self-absorbed prideful, and arrogance. Instead, it’s personal appreciation, empathy, kindness and understanding for yourself. Many people get self-righteous (know it all) when they start on the spiritual or awakening path — being prideful, arrogant, self-righteous is all ego-based. It’s what you are waking up from.

Love You

Loving yourself is a good thing. It brings in abundance and a slew of positive people and experiences into your life. You can’t hate yourself and then try to love yourself–clearly, that doesn’t work. Loving yourself means you are resolving the emotional memory that pushed you away from self-acceptance, to begin with.

I can’t think of why you wouldn’t love yourself from a deep place of acceptance and appreciation. It’s so much easier for you to live life and be yourself when you embrace love and live from an open heart. By loving all your bits–all the things that make you so special and beautiful. When you are not true to yourself–you can’t be true to anyone else. People can feel the fakeness.

On the Awakening Path

On the awakening path, the journey is inward, and it’s where you develop a relationship with self (inner you). The message from the Instagram feed is similar to developing a relationship with the inner you. The psychologist said, “When I people please, I abandon myself.”  It’s what most people do; they abandon themselves. You put the needs and wants of others before you. Wasn’t there a Christian commandment that said, “Do not put any false gods before me?”
It’s the same thing; placing the needs and wants of others is placing false gods before you. The Self (as in True Self) is superior over others.

Let Me Explain

Two parts to explain. I’m not saying do not help others in need. I’m also not saying that the ego-you is superior to others. Ego superiority is prideful and arrogant. I’m not talking about the Ego parts of you. I’m talking about turning your perspective around to the inner true Self. Eventually, you understand there’s nothing but “Self.” It’s switching your mind around to experience life differently.

Hurt Feelings

I’m only touching on this briefly–You also learn on the awakening path; you can’t control how a person feels or thinks. You only have jurisdiction over yourself. Once you establish a healthy connection with yourself and like yourself and understand self-worth from the heart and not the mind, you’ll draw similar people into your life and be happy and fulfilled. Isn’t that brilliant?

Practice taking your attention off what you can do for others, placing it on yourself, and opening your heart. One of the major keys to awakening is living your life with an open heart with no fear or doubt. Practice being present with yourself. Practice saying “no.”

Also, you learn you can’t hurt anyone’s feelings. First, because you don’t have power over others, and second, only the ego gets hurt. If someone says, “You are hurting me with your words.” Talk to them to see what part of them is hurt–it’s always an experience from the past that is not resolved. Everyone has issues, so be patient with others as they work through their stuff.

Where are you with saying No? Are you a pro at keeping good boundaries and saying you had enough? Or are you still practicing? Leave your messages below. Thank you!