Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?

Customer: I can do that. I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART, ma’am?

Customer: Yes I have, but several programs are running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running, ma’am?

Customer: Let me see. I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a
module of it’s own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE.  However, you have to turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM completely. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off, ma’am?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I’m done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART.
Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says “ERROR 412 – PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS.” What
does that mean?

CS Rep: Don’t worry ma’am, that’s a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms, it means you have to “LOVE” your machine before it can “LOVE” others.

Customer: So what should I do?

CS Rep: Can you find the directory called “SELF-ACCEPTANCE?”

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

CS Rep: You’re welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the “MYHEART” directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITICIZE.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterward to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Wow! My HEART is filling up with neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now, and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here — one more thing before I go.

Customer: Yes?

CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will, in turn, share it with other people, and they will return some nice modules to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help

CS Rep: You’re very welcome.