Jealousy stems from deep mother wounding that never got resolved. It’s a group of patterning of unmet life needs from childhood. Jealousy started early in life when love became a competition in households due to the lack of communication between family members. Often there’s a perception of the mother not wanting a child or pushing the child away unconsciously that sets up competition around love.
To heal, you want to take the focus off others and turn your attention inwards to yourself. Use others only as a reflection. Whatever you notice about someone else, regardless if it’s positive or negative, it’s also in you. You’re healed when you no longer criticize, judge, envy or are jealous of others. Healing subconscious patterns takes time, and the earlier the behavior pattern, the longer it takes to heal. Be patient with yourself.
Here are some steps you can take:
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- Acknowledge Feelings: Recognize and accept that you are experiencing jealousy. It’s important to address it rather than suppress it.
- Identify Triggers: Try to understand what triggers your jealousy. Is it a specific person, situation, or thought pattern? Understanding the root cause can help you address it more effectively.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Jealousy often stems from feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way, and treat yourself with the same empathy you would offer a friend in a similar situation.
- Communicate Openly: If jealousy affects relationships, talk it out with others. Unhealed people typically play emotional games with jealousy, thinking it will help them get a partner. On the contrary, what you’ll draw in is another unhealed person. Honest communication builds trust and understanding. Express feelings calmly and respectfully, focusing on you rather than blaming the other person.
- Work on Building Self-Esteem: Boosting your self-esteem can help reduce feelings of jealousy. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and remind yourself of your worth independent of external factors.
- Challenge Irrational Thoughts: Jealousy involves irrational thoughts or assumptions. When we are triggered into jealousy, we often feel we are doing something wrong or there’s something wrong with us. Read about trauma patterns here. When spiraling into negative thinking, challenge the thoughts by questioning their validity and considering alternative perspectives.
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, help keep you stay grounded and present when jealousy arises. They can also help you observe thoughts and emotions without judgment.
- Set Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries in relationships helps alleviate jealousy. Communicate needs and expectations openly, and respect the boundaries set by others.
When jealousy significantly impacts daily life or relationships, you’re not liking yourself and can use professional help with changing the way you think about yourself and changing perspectives.