Toxic is a new buzzword. It’s been around for a while. Twenty years ago, we called it dysfunctional. Everyone came from a dysfunctional family dynamic, but now, it’s a toxic family, toxic friends and toxic lovers. With narcissism awareness on the rise, people are now more aware of emotional and mental toxicity.
I hadn’t noticed any toxicity around me until a massage therapist pointed it out and said that person was toxic. In my teachings, I help people heal hurt and feeling unloved. If you notice someone else stuff and it bothers you, then you need to look at yourself first. Whatever anyone says about you or others shouldn’t bother you.
After doing internal work, if you still have hostile people around, here are a few things to look for. A person doesn’t have to have all the traits listed. Check in with yourself to see what’s doable or not.
Toxic Traits
- Shame becomes a weapon to make others feel bad
- Belittling choices or poking fun at accomplishments
- Dismissive and mean
- Blaming others or the world
- Take advantage of other people’s kindness
- Mindset scarcity
- Holding grudges
- Unhelpful to others and makes little time for others
- Interrupts conversations unless it’s about them
- Jealous of others
- Passive aggressive comments or under-the-breath jabs
- Judgmental
- Emotional Neediness
- Manipulating and controlling
- Emotional inconsistency
Toxic people like to isolate others from friends and family. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation in which one person tries to convince another that their beliefs or memories are imagined. People with toxic traits often refuse to admit when they said or done something wrong. They turn things around and make it another person’s fault.
How to Know
- Walking on eggshells
- You feel emotionally drained
- Neediness (primarily in men)
- Co-dependence and can’t make their own decisions
People who have toxic traits often refuse to admit when they’ve said or done something wrong. They fail to take responsibility for their actions or feel the need to apologize. Toxic people shift the blame to you or try to defend their offensive behavior. People who are abusive accuse the other person of doing something wrong to warrant the abuse.
The Toxic Person
- Lack of self-worth
- Loss of enjoyment in life
- Lost sense of self
- Development of mental health condition
- Lack of self-understand
- Lack of self-love
Many times, it’s easier to become silent and walk away than to confront people, especially a toxic person. I believe people change when they realize their current life is not working. However, as long as an unhealthy person has enablers, they won’t change.
Tips To Cope With Toxic Behavior
- Set up clear boundaries
- Discuss the negative behavior you have noticed
- Explore your contribution
- Walk away and use the silent treatment
Toxic or narcissistic people, especially men, have deep mother issues. Either the mother wasn’t around or not emotionally available to her children. Mothers and daughters also have deep problems due to the reflection the mother sees about herself from her daughter (s) and takes their grief out on their daughters.
If you need help identifying subconscious belief patterns that lead to feelings of unloved, hurt, or anger, set up a free chat to see if we can help you through spiritual counseling. Email: hello@awakennirvana.com
